A case of the head and heart, Detective
by Kirney
Summary: My take on Luke's conflicted thoughts during the finale as he sits in the car waiting for Andy to reemerge. K  rating for mild swearing... well, one mild swear word.


_* Just to set the record straight, I don't dislike Luke's character. I think he's a good guy and a good detective. Although this story may come off as slight Luke bashing, it was not my intention. The inspiration just struck when I re-watched the finale and took note of Callaghan's troubled expression after he made the call. It just seemed like he had a lot going on behind those eyes. I hope you enjoy (even if most of you don't care for Luke). I'll consider adding chapters if you all take to the story. Please do review and let me know.  
_

_Usual disclaimers: I don't own any rights in the Rookie Blue TV series._

* * *

"McNally knows what she's doing. We got to trust that."

Luke blinked, unsure if he had really just said that. Had he just made the decision to leave Andy alone in there without any backup? A feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach and it took all of his self control not to rescind the order. As much as he didn't want to leave her in there, he knew it was the right thing to do. After all, he trusted her right?

Boyd was only too happy and quick to agree. "Okay. Till the deal gets done, we sit tight." Squeezing his eyes tight for a fraction longer, Luke was immediately lost deep in his thoughts, barely processing the radio chatter or Boyd's response.

It bothered him that he was the one to have to make that call. It bothered him that Noelle didn't even think twice about rushing to Andy's side, guns blazing, the minute she completed her request for Swarek's tail. Hell, she even sounded desperate. It bothered him because, damn it, that should be him! She was his girlfriend after all. Andy was his girlfriend. But most of all, it bothered him because he wasn't sure why he made that call.

"McNally is a good cop", he thought. No, not McNally, Andy! Andy is a good cop. He silently berated himself for slipping into "professional" mode, where he kept his distance from a subject to protect himself and to protect the facts in a case. It was something he had gotten adept at doing since being made detective. Recalling their earlier spat in his office, Luke knew she had been offended when he began to question her. Truth be told, he was taken aback by her sudden accusatory comeback and couldn't help but feel like it was an over reaction, even for Andy. One minute she was upset over his priorities, and the next she was threatening not to go through with her decision to live with him because he expressed his concern? He didn't think it was unnatural to expect her to be touched by the fact that he was worried about her, worried about her safety. Granted, he could have approached the conversation differently. Correction, he probably should have broached the topic differently. But that was all said and done now, nor was it the point.

"Callaghan, are you absolutely sure about this?" Noelle's voice had a hard edge to it as she emphasized each syllable, making her disapproval of the situation crystal clear. Luke paused and took a calming breath. Boyd interrupted before he could get a word in. "Look Lady, the call's been made. There's nothing to do but wait for the sign," he sneered as he took another look through the binoculars.

Luke didn't have to turn around to see Noelle shooting Boyd a piercing glare befitting an angry lioness. Make that a raging and murderous lioness. "Yeah, it's the right move," he finally responded to Noelle's appeal, with less conviction this time than before. "We should wait until Swarek arrives at his destination before reconsidering this."

Reconsider - His mind fixated on that word. Going back again to his and Andy's last conversation, he reexamined his feelings about her ability as a cop. "You don't think I can do this?" Her sharp words were haunting and painful at the same time. No, he didn't. She was just a rookie. While she had the makings of a good cop as her record during her short stint at the division would vouch for, still, she was green and lacked experience in undercover work. He wanted to trust her, he really did. Wished with all of his heart he could completely trust in her abilities to stay safe. And he did trust her, but just maybe, that wasn't enough. She is still a rookie after all.

This brought him back to the present. Here, now, he was keeping a rookie, keeping Andy, in harms way. But it was the right call. He knew it, and Boyd knew it. Officer Williams wasn't a detective, so she led with her gut and with her heart. Him on the other hand, he was a career detective and understood better than most that they needed Andy to stay put in order to make the case. It was a logical decision, intellectual almost. "So this is what it all comes down to," he thought dismally to himself. Feeling a sick feeling coming over him, he fidgeted with the binoculars to mask his discomfort.

Mentally shaking himself out of his pitiful lonely rant, Luke forced the negative feelings away. "No", he told himself, trying to justify his decision. He trusted her, trusted Andy to do what's right. He had to. It was the only way. And it was the right thing to do… trusting her. She was his girlfriend and she deserved his trust. With another deep breath, Luke returned his focus to the mission on hand. "Trust in Andy...," he kept repeating to himself. Trust in Andy.

Besides, Swarek would have signaled if he thought Andy was in any danger. Somehow, that thought helped ease his mind slightly. Sure, there was no love lost between the two. But Luke respected Sam as a cop, and if nothing else, he trusted that Sam would have Andy's back. Still, he couldn't fully absolve himself of the unsettling emotions he was dealing with.

"I hope you know what you're doing Luke," came Noelle's resigned acknowledgement. Luke looked up realizing a few minutes had passed. Radio chatter from Jerry indicated that they had figured out Swarek's destination and were sending up an ops team to back him up. ETA was in another few minutes. Luke just nodded, staring vacantly towards the doorway which led to Andy. "Yeah, let us hope I do," he silently brooded.


End file.
